Monday 9 January 2012

The Great App Review - for Writers

Hello again!

Today's blog is going to be less about writing and more about tools to help your writing. In this technological age, I believe there is an app for everything. In most cases there are. Even when it comes to creative writing.

With this in mind, I went looking for an app via the Android market, that would allow me to make notes whilst I was not at home and, sure enough, there were plenty. However, a rather peculiar app called 'How to Write a Book' made its appearance. My cynical nature sneered at this and thought 'No way can this actually help anyone'. But I looked at some of the reviews (now I believe to be forged) and downloaded it. It is free so I haven't lost any money. Just time.

I kid you not, the first sentence has a spelling error in it.

My hopes plummeted from there on.

Not only does this app stink of an over-inflated ego who doesn't really have a clue what he is talking about, it also gives you helpful bits of advice like:

'If you want to be an author or a best-selling author the truth of the matter is whether you think you can or you think you cannot, you are right!'

Well...that has certainly improved my writing career I can tell you.

The rest of the introduction is some strange pep talk that has nothing to do with the craft of writing but rather achieving 'celebrity status' and 'being a best selling author'. If I wanted to be a celebrity I can think of much quicker ways to get there like, sleeping with a footballer then telling every magazine about it. Just as an example you understand.

Then, there are the audio recordings.

Oh. My. God.

The first audio recording, two minutes long, starts off with an american guy talking about, how, when you are dead you want to be remembered and blah blah blah. It then goes on and on about what 'God given talents' you have and how you can use them to enlighten others. Then it talks about a beach. Cue the dodgy metaphors.

So if you are into American style pep talks, get this app. It's made for you.

Chapter two talks about human desires and how they are 'hard-wired into our DNA'. Apparently if you wish to write a book on ANY of the three desires he names, which are 'FOOD, MONEY AND LOVE' then you are in the money my friend. Also, it doesn't even have to be original!

Snigger.

I stopped listening after that. My ears could no longer stand it.

So please be wary of this app - it is not helpful in the slightest.

And if you were wondering what is good for just taking down notes, then Natural Notes will do you no wrong (not that I have experienced at any rate).

Happy writing!

Ellen