Unfortunately this weekend, I have managed to pick up a cold. Or something like a cold - I think it's more of a chest infection. It started with a sore throat, which is still a little bit there but is fading. I had a tickle at the back of my throat and a cough started to develop. Not a really bad one, but enought to let me know its there.
And of course. There came along my old friend. Asthma.
When people ask me - whats it like living with asthma? What are asthma attacks like? I try to say. But its not easy to describe something that 'healthy' people don't have.
To the first questions I can mostly say it doesn't really affect my life. Unless of course, I get a cold or chest infection or flu. The temperature can effect it. Exercise also has been known to set it off to. Even though its sounds like a lot - these factors generally only effect my asthma if two triggers are there. Although diseases have been known to hit off by itself. It has eventually improved over the years. I am nowhere near as bad as when I was little.
To the second question. Well perhaps I should explain what it actually is: the muscles of the air passages in the lungs spasm and the linings of these airways swell. This results in the airways becoming narrow and breathing becomes difficult. If you want to put it in terms of what it actually feels like - it's like being strangled from the inside.
I never thought as asthma being part of me - it was something I had but I never used it to define me. So when I had an asthma attack last night, it was something I was used to. It was mild. If I hadn't had (or even found my inhaler which thanks to a friend who nagged me to find it, I did) it on me, then I am pretty sure it would have been a lot worse.
Whenever I have an attack, I feel a vulnerability - there is nothing I can do to stop this attack. The only thing that does help is the inhaler. It makes me grateful to have the medical care that I do have. Otherwise I am certain I would not be sitting here today. However, this feeling of being umable to do anything, leads me to hate my body; its like its betraying me.
Anywho on a more interesting note, my database is almost finished. Just got to do a bit of coding. Which is not going to be fun. Did I just say that was interesting? :-S Oh dear....